Hey, welcome to The Young Faithful Mama Blog. My name is Justice Rodriguez and I helping young mamas like you stop feeling unqualified, overwhelmed, and chaotic so you can start raising your babies with more peace and joy, by sharing some of my experiences and things that I learned through my journey so you can become a Young Faithful Mama too as you navigate through your life as a wife and mother.
This series is to dispel victim mentality, something that I dealt with for many years and keep me from living my life to its full potential, I want to give a disclaimer that this mentality is not something you can be diagnosed with and I will not be using any of these blogs as medical advice. if you have any questions about certain things that pertain to a mental illness I always encourage and advise you to speak with your doctor. this blog is just informational and me sharing my own experiences.
As we finished off the last blog looking at the signs of victim mentality I wanted to talk about some of the causes of this mindset and some other information I believe will help you as we are dispelling it.
Some of the causes of victim mentality are:
- going through reoccurring situations where you felt like you had no control,
- having your trust betrayed by someone close to you
- having experiences of past trauma where now this mindset has become a coping mechanism.
- Repetitive emotional pain that causes you to feel helpless or hopeless that anything can change.
- Lack of taking accountability for yourself
- Having no boundaries for yourself or others
What are coping mechanisms?
APA Dictionary of Psychology defines them as any conscious or nonconscious adjustment or adaptation that decreases tension anxiety in a stressful experience or situation.
When we are faced with a lot of problematic or traumatic situations, it’s natural for us to feel them because we are humans and we can feel like we have no control over if they affect us. The truth is that we have a choice .since sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden and caused Adam and Eve to have to live apart from God’s original plan we have been in a battle of good or evil.
Are you evil for feeling like a victim? Of course, you are not! the effect of your trauma put you in a negative state of mind and because your traumatic situation wasn’t dealt with or handled the way you felt was right or because it was dealt with at all now you have picked up ways to deal with your pain in ways that don’t align with God’s will for you.
“if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:21-24 NKJV
That’s why it’s so important that we fix our minds on heavenly things and not that loud overwhelming voice that tells you that you aren’t justified, that you are hopeless when God tells us that He gave you life so that you may have a hope and a future, that you are helpless when you just need to learn where your help comes from. We need to learn how to fight back against the war in our minds that is the lie that my experiences are who I am and that I can’t be more than what has happened to me .let me be the first to tell you that its a lie from hell and you were created for so much more mama.
What are word curses?
Oxford describes a curse as a solemn utterance intended to invoke a supernatural power to inflict harm or punishment on someone or something.
When we speak or think negative things about others or ourselves. we are planting seeds of discord between who we’re meant to be and the person we’re becoming with the mindset we have.
– Justice Rodriguez
“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
- Galatians 6:8 NKJV
Since a lot of the signs of victim mentality are about shifting blame or not taking ownership of situations and feeling that everything is happening to you. it made me think of the children of Israel when God sent Moses to get them out of Egypt. Moses was successful in following God’s call to set his people free but we see that even while they were free that their minds were bound in a “Woe Is Me “ mindset to the point that it caused them to wander for 40 years and end up missing what God had for them. ( Deuteronomy 1:19-45) .
For years I struggled with this mindset of feeling like no matter what I did I just wasn’t going to get far in life because of where I came from or because of all the unfortunate things that happened. I couldn’t shake the constant heaviness that consumed me. all the pain I felt in my heart and mind left me hopeless and I didn’t have the strength to fight against it until I realized that if I learn what was in my control, and stop blaming people for my lack of boundaries and lack of accountability that I wouldn’t able to be who God wanted me to be.
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
-John 10:10 NKJV
Some of the consequences of victim mentality are:
- Feelings of guilt, shame, and depression
- Frustrated with life and the world around you
- Feeling hurt that people don’t care about you
- Feeling resentful of other’s success and engaging in self-destructive behaviors
Self-sabotaging behavior
When you have a negative mindset directed toward yourself, you block your own success, prevent yourself from reaching goals, and put yourself in situations that can harm you or cause you to go back to something that does not benefit you in the long run.
- Having relationship issues because others feel manipulated or blamed
- Feeling as though you thrive on drama and refuse to make changes
- Constant negative emotions of fear, sadness, and anger
- Have a hard time trusting counseling or authority figures
I love the beginning of the scripture in Proverbs 23:7 “ For as he thinks in his heart, so is he .”
Everything we say and do has an effect on us. that’s why is extremely important to understand that we have a big responsibility in what goes on in our lives, not other people. they may have a part but we are in control of our actions and responses.
“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
-Romans 5:3-5 NKJV
As this blog comes to an end I want to leave you with this encouragement that you can’t be a victim and be victorious. the two don’t go together, God is calling you to something better than where you are right now. I pray that this blesses you. if you are not in my private support group and I want to personally invite you.
The Young Faithful Mama 