Hey, welcome to Every Prayer Matters Blog Series. My name is Justice Rodriguez, and I help mommas like you implement the “How To” in a powerful prayer life as you navigate through your life as a wife and mother.
In today’s blog, we will be talking about if you should pray or not pray with your husband!
This blog aims to help you gain clarity on if you should pray together or not pray together with your spouse and what could be building a wall that stops you from having the healthy God-centered Marriage you want!
Please note that this blog is about my personal story and adventure. I’m not a doctor or a professional to give you medical advice. I’m simply a wife, a mommy of 2, and a developing business owner sold out for Jesus who wants to encourage you in your prayer life because I believe Every Prayer Matters To God!
When we enter marriage if you are a believer or even if you’re not. I’m sure you have heard that you will become one and share almost everything and have to work together not only in your relationship but in life. As we talked about in a previous blog post about expectations and how they sometimes can blind us from loving and experiencing our spouse for who they are and appreciating their unique qualities.
When the topic of prayer or faith comes up it can be a little confusing at least for my relationship because you learn that you have a personal relationship with the Lord and your salvation is not a carpool lane and you are not responsible for someone else.
If you were like me you may have been asking yourself, but I thought we were “one”, so does that mean we have to do this all together? or maybe you are like me and you love reading and learning new things do you think, shouldn’t he always be doing bible studies and reading with me?
The simple answer is no, why? Because just because you get married and are sharing pretty much everything that doesn’t mean automatically your brains just become one super brain or just because you have decided to surrender your lives to the Lord you are automatically responsible for your husband’s salvation and relationship with God. Just because you have welcomed Christ into your union doesn’t mean the natural way you both spend time together has to change, studying and reading together should be something you guys do together but to say ALWAYS is just a bit much.
Communication is key in this area, talk about good times and days you can come together to do these things like an additional way to connect with your husband.
Learning that you are both each other’s helpmate and support persons can take that weight off of you both to not feel like you have to be something you weren’t called to be.
Let us take a peek back to the end of 2019
Me: But God why do I feel so responsible for making sure my husband is doing the right thing?
God: Are you holding yourself accountable for your walk with me?
Me: yes? But he needs to change! he is not acting the same way I do, he doesn’t have the same joy, commitment that I have, or fire that I feel.
God: how can he have his joy if you are stealing it? you are to honor and respect him and his leadership not be his salvation tracker, you are his helpmate, his rib. you need to fix your focus on me and allow me to do the work I need for my son!
Me: That’s hard Lord, I still feel so responsible?
God: because of the limiting beliefs you have had way before you knew you would be together that you didn’t know how to address, because of the pride that is deep-rooted and made you think that you need to have control over everything to feel safe.
Me: Lord, help me be the wife that my husband needs and change me so that way I can see a change in my marriage and myself.
When God gave me this realization I wish I could tell you that I got it together and everything was fine. but the hard truth is I denied that I was the reason why we couldn’t pray or study together. it was only when I submitted my will to God and started submitting myself to my husband was when I was about to have the spiritual part of my marriage thrive.
My reason for sharing that intimate moment is to show you that it’s okay to speak from a place if when you didn’t know better, it’s okay to vulnerable with the one who created you. marriage was created by God and it is not for the weak,
The disconnect that I and my husband had at that moment wasn’t because we didn’t love each other or because I wanted to have this picture-perfect marriage; it was because I let my expectations of what I felt he needed to out weight the compassion, the grace, and support he needed at that time.
Could your baggage be in the way of you having the God-centered marriage that you are longing for?
Looking back from what I know now my pride, my trauma, my self limiting beliefs of “I will have a marriage like my parents” started to poke their ugly heads out and the enemy knew I didn’t know how to fight back, that’s why I’m writing this blog to help another young wife that’s just figuring this walk with Christ out, you may be getting into the word consistently, learning the do’s and do not’s of the Christ-follower walk but I want to give you just this one piece of advice
As you are learning and growing, renewing your mind, and getting things in order. don’t take the bate when you start thinking your seeing things in your spouse that you never noticed before and it starts to make you think you may have made a mistake,
God makes no mistakes, he gave you that man to love for all that he is and all that he will be, so get up, turn off the noise that is pushing you to second guess yourself, and start learning how to fight back against the schemes of the enemy.
You should pray together but ask yourself, would you wanna pray, worship, and study with someone that is not supportive, understanding, and open to understanding you?
I pray that this encourages you and helps your marriage be all that God wants it to be!
I want to invite you to join my freebie folder so you can get your hands on some really good tools for all the areas in your life and if you haven’t joined my Facebook support group what are you waiting for, Let me help you start becoming the woman of faith your family needs!
The Young Faithful Mama 